#38 [2025/CBR17] The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel

I think I saw The Psychology of Money (2021) by Morgan Housel on a "best of" non-fiction list somewhere, although I am not certain. I have a lot of fear when it comes to investing and saving my money. I also have a (reasonable?) fear of not having enough money to live comfortably and falling into ruin. It probably doesn't help that whatever we had of a safety net in the United States feels like it's rapidly deteriorating. So, I tend to be pretty conservative when it comes to money on the one hand, and stick my head in the sand and think about it as little as possible on the other.

Housel's book is not your typical financial advice book, and he made a number of points that had me thinking about money differently. Housel says that finance is the one profession that anyone can do. You can't walk off the street and start operating on people, but anyone can invest money. And it's not the smartest people that necessarily end up making the most. As far as making it big, there is so much luck involved that being smart only gets you so far. 

The book begins with the descriptions of two men. One is a janitor who died as a millionaire philanthropist. The other is a tech bro who made millions of dollars and lost it all. The janitor was patient, spent very little, and consistently invested year after year. The tech bro was the opposite, and although he made a lot of money, this money was not coming in consistently and he spent it quickly. 

One point that Housel made was that everyone has a different relationship to money depending on when and how you grew up. If you grew up the daughter of Bill Gates, you would think very differently from someone who struggled not having enough money for food. The time period matters, too. The people who grew up in The Great Depression have a very different view of the stock market than Millennials. What feels like a smart, rational financial decision to some, might feel reckless to others. These views of money are deeply personal and deeply ingrained. So, there is no one rational financial decision for everybody.

Other pertinent points Housel discusses in his book include his emphasis on how time makes a difference in compounding interest. When you invest early and often and keep your money invested, you will make so much more than if you're looking for the big gains elsewhere. Housel also shows that when people make money they usually think it was because of their actions, but when they lose money they blame it on bad luck.

Housel ends his book by saying he doesn't want to give generic financial advice because everyone is so different. But he does explain his own money strategy, which involves living well below his means, paying off his house, and making long term investments that are relatively safe. It was nice to see an expert keep everything so simple.

I thought this book was easy to read and understand with a lot of interesting points. Recommended.

#21 [2023/CBR15] The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama

I'm a big fan of Michelle Obama. I read and really enjoyed Becoming back in 2019, and I was pretty sure I'd be getting around to The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times (2022) as well. I've enjoyed listening to these as audiobooks, and I like that Michelle Obama is the reader. The only problem this time is that I checked The Light We Carry out from the library, and it was automatically and unexpectedly returned when I only had half an hour left. So, I waited the many months before I could check it out again in order to get the last half hour. Thus, the whole book is not as fresh in my mind as it otherwise may have been

It's hard to imagine a world where Michelle Obama writes a book that I don't like. I loved Becoming, and I learned a lot about her life when I read it. The Light We Carry is different. Obama has a good amount of advice mixed in with anecdotes about her mother, her time as first lady, and the stories of people she's met. Obama is intelligent, thoughtful, empathetic, practical, and optimistic, and it definitely comes across in her writing. I admire what she's accomplished while still being relatable.

Much of this book is advice on how to live in times where we feel unsettled: like when Trump is president and there's a new virus wreaking havoc all over the world. And she has very good advice: eating well, exercising, sleeping, spending real time with friends, choosing your battles wisely. I found her advice insightful and wise, but it wasn't my favorite part of the book. Generally, the advice portion of the book were things that I already knew and agreed with. 

My favorite parts of the book were when she tied her advice into specific stories about her life or people she'd met. These included: Michelle's mother's attitude towards all the pomp at the White House; Michelle trying to make friends at the White House; watching her daughters grow up; and what she wished for them in the future.

One story that really stuck with me was when Barack Obama was deciding to run for President. Michelle said that Barack gave her the power to nip the whole thing in the bud. She knew that a presidential campaign would cause huge upheaval in her family, and she was worried about the impact on her children. There were many valid reasons to avoid the whole thing, but she said yes, which changed her life beyond what she could have imagined. As someone who is often afraid of change and "what might happen," this was a powerful reminder for me to embrace new possibilities because you never know what might happen.

Highly recommended. Of course.

#50 [2017/CBR9] "How to Be a Person in the World" by Heather Havrilesky

How to Be a Person in the World by Heather Havrilesky is another book I saw on NPR's Best Books of 2016 list. What makes me sad about this list is that it's almost 2018, and there are still so many books that I want to read. I guess it's inevitable when the list has over three hundred books of all different genres that I won't get to them all. Then there are the recommendations from Cannonball and other friends, random books I see at the bookstore, series I want to finish, and authors I like to read. There are just thousands of books out there I'm never going to get a chance to read. 

Anyway, back to the review. How to Be a Person in the World is an advice column put together in book format. Heather Havrilesky is the author of the advice column Ask Polly from New York magazine. I was not familiar with the Ask Polly column, but I generally find advice columns and podcasts interesting. At best, I get insight into my own life and situations; at worst, it's like a documentary, a little peek into other people's lives and their problems.

Havrilevsky is empathetic and straight forward and I enjoyed reading her book. What I first noticed while reading were the questions chosen for this book. The writing ability of the questioners was impressive. They'd go on for paragraphs, eloquently discussing their practical and existential dilemmas with description and insight.

"Rationally, I know the answer is to take initiative. But my temperament lends itself to forming friendships like the way water might slowly bubble up from a dry creek bed. Over time and with little fanfare, my connection to a person grows until we are bonded in that mysterious way people bond." (179)

"Everything else--my career, where I lived, the college I went to--was decided based on some combination of convenience and 'the next logical step'. I've sort of floated through my life following these men down their paths, while every once in a while feeling worthless enough to make blind, halfhearted attempts at finding my own." (156)

Havrilevsky would continue this trend with wordy answers that delve into her life and experiences. One question and answer that stuck with me was by a man basically asking for permission to have an affair. He said his wife had no interest in him sexually anymore and he needed to find pleasure outside of his marriage (I think I'm remembering this correctly). I've listened to a lot of Dan Savage's podcasts, and I was afraid I was going to get more of the same--that maybe in order to save a marriage, cheating is the right option. But Havrilevsky dove right in and basically called him a selfish asshole. He's going out every night, leaving his wife alone with their kids. He ignores her requests to help out more. No wonder she doesn't want to sleep with him. This was probably my favorite response, and I think Havrilevsky was right in that situation.

My other experience reading this type of book was Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed, and it's probably not a fair comparison. Although I liked Havrilevsky, sometimes I felt her answers went on so long that I lost the point of her advice. I also appreciated her answers, but they could occasionally be less than helpful. When a woman writes in who is torn between her career and family, Havrilevsky says that it's hard but she should do both. Okay, but that's her problem. She wants to do both and feels that she cannot. When compared with Strayed's book, where I was underlining every other line and practically crying with understanding, this one just did not do as much for me. 

#11 [2017/CBR9] "The Winter Camping Handbook" by Stephen Gorman

I've been camping and backpacking a lot lately. I like the gear, the challenge, the beauty, and getting away from it all. But there's always some new horizon to explore or a new trial to endure. Once I've tried something, I always find myself looking for something just a little bit  harder. For me, that was winter camping. Summer camping is delightful. The temperature is generally comfortable. You have sunshine and light until almost nine o'clock at night--giving you tons of time to hike and set up camp. Basically, you can make a lot more mistakes without dire consequences while summer camping.

But winter camping is a much more serious endeavor. With fewer people out in the woods, you are generally more isolated. Also, mistakes in clothing and gear can easily lead to hypothermia. In fact, just twisting an ankle and being unable to walk is significantly more dangerous in winter. Really, everything is harder and more uncomfortable, from cooking to going to the bathroom. And there's potential avalanche danger. Winter camping seems especially hard for me because I get cold so easily. The only thing you generally don't have to worry about is bears because they should be hibernating.

What I usually do when starting anything new is pick up a book on the subject, and that's why I read The Winter Camping Handbook by Stephen Gorman [originally printed in 1991 and revised in 2016]. I'd prefer to avoid at least some of my stupid mistakes through book learning rather than experience. The Winter Camping Handbook is a very broad overview of camping in general, gear recommendations, and cold injuries. Unfortunately, none of it was specific enough to be very helpful for me. I was interested in learning more about skiing in the back country and avalanche danger, but I really needed more information for it to be useful.

While reading, I had the feeling that even though this book was "revised" in 2016, they may have not done much with the actual content. It is always disconcerting to be reading an advice book and find that you know more than what's in the book. This was very true of their section on sleeping bags. Basically, Gorman's advice for winter sleeping bags is that mummy bags are warmer. He goes on to say that warmth ratings are not helpful because there is no standard; you can really only go by trial and error. But there is a standard. The European Norm or EN classifies most sleeping bags with a "comfort rating" and a "lower limit" rating. The comfort limit is generally when a woman, or a cold sleeper will stay warm, and the lower limit rating is generally when a man, or a warm sleeper will stay warm. Generally women get colder than men. Thus, women's sleeping bags, even the same brand, style, and rating will actually have more insulation than the men's. Because I'm tall, I chose to get a women's tall version rather than the men's version (which would have been tall enough) because it had more insulation. You still have to figure out what works for you, but these are incredibly helpful guidelines. Anyway, I was shocked that a book on winter camping would not have this information on sleeping bags. It's very basic and very important. After that, I simply did not trust this book to have the latest and greatest information.

Now, I'm sure this is going to be TMI for those of you who are not campers, but I'm also guessing that you are only reading this at this point if you are a backpacker. So, the other question I had about winter camping was what to do when you go to the bathroom. How do you bury your waste if you are surrounded by snow. Now, Gorman mentions that you want to get out of camp to do your business, but he doesn't address my question. Burying waste in snow doesn't do much come spring time. I was curious what the Leave No Trace principles were on this, or if Gorman thinks it's okay [I don't] because there aren't as many winter campers. Unfortunately I did not get a clear answer to my question.

So, on the whole I was disappointed in this book. I wanted more detail and more information. This may be better for someone who is new to camping, but even then I think there are other books out there with better information.

#32 [2016/CBR8] "The Money Class" by Suze Orman

John Oliver, always witty and informative, was discussing retirement plans one day, and I saw it on Youtube. That reminded me that I've been working for the same place for four years now, and I still haven't set up my own retirement plan. One of the problems is that I was always distracted by the many other things I could be doing with that money. But the main problem was that I had no idea what I was doing. When the economy was bad, I figured what's the point of throwing my money into a plan where it will just erode away? I also didn't know how much I should be putting in, how I should do my investments, or what I should do with all of the other short-lived retirement plans from my previous jobs. I also have approximately zero interest in this kind of thing. Oliver's piece focused primarily on how to avoid getting overcharged on fees and to find financial advisers that would look out for your best interests. He mentioned Suze Orman a lot when dispensing advice, so I figured, if Suze Orman is good enough for John Oliver, then she's good enough for me.

So I promptly went on Amazon and found a book by Suze Orman that looked helpful, which turned out to be The Money Class (2011). I was going to say this was the most helpful financial book I've ever read, but I'm also pretty sure it's the only one I've ever read. It is clear that this book is geared towards those who have some money coming in, and realistically, a lot of money coming in. Orman recommends having an eight-month emergency fund, buying everything with cash (instead of credit), saving for college (if possible and appropriate), and putting at least fifteen percent of earnings towards retirement. I am in a relatively (although I would very much like to win the lottery) stable position financially, and it seemed a little overwhelming. If I were just scraping by or unemployed, I would have to stop reading this book at the first chapter. However, I thought Orman was clear, encouraging, sympathetic, and practical. Sure, I finished this book about a month ago, and I still haven't set up my retirement fund, but I have a much more clear idea what I want and will be procrastinating no[t much] longer.

Orman wrote this book as a handbook for those dealing with the aftermath of the financial crisis of 2008. One of her themes is that you have to "stand in your truth." For example, you need to look at your mortgage, the value of your house, how long you plan on staying, and your income to decide whether you can afford that mortgage. If you can't, raiding your retirement fund or asking relatives to help you out, will not make any difference. In the long run, you will still have to leave your home, but now you also have nothing to live on in retirement. The best option is to look carefully at your finances and be proactive. She applies this principle throughout the book, including colleges. You can go into a little debt for college, but too much will suffocate you when you graduate. You (or your kids) may be better off going to a cheaper school or starting off at a community college. It is important to honestly look at your finances before making a decision.

Orman's book is split into subjects of: family, home, career, and retirement. She is concise on each subject but touches on a number of important points. Her family chapter advises on loaning money to family members, raising kids with financial savvy, and saving for college. Her home chapter focuses on when to buy a home, if you can afford a home, and when to get rid of your home. The career chapter gives advice to those both employed and unemployed and those looking to start their own business. Finally, the retirement section (and the one most helpful for me at this point!) was split into "Getting Going in your 20's and 30's," "Fine-Tuning it in Your 40's and 50's," and "Living in Retirement." I read all of them, but the chapter I needed was the "Getting Going in your 20's and 30's." Not only did she make clear how important it was that I start my retirement fund as soon as possible, I now have some clear advice on how to invest my portfolio. The later chapters were also helpful in seeing where my parents were in the process and what they will need. There may be better books out there, I wouldn't know, but I just wish I had read this book earlier.

#16 [2016/CBR8] "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo

I vacillate between a compunction to organize and an amazing ability to be a procrastinating slob. At the moment, I'm leaning more towards the compunction to organize: my condo, my life, my finances, and I thought Marie Kondo's book might give me some tips. And so I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing (2014).

Organizing seems pretty straight forward to me, and began reading wondering how Kondo would have enough to fill a book. How many different ways can you tell people to get rid of what you don't need and straighten up what's left? At first, this book felt like a repetitive sales pitch. You can change your life! Your skin will become shiny and bright! Your life will all come together and you will discover wonder and happiness! All you have to do is ask yourself, one at a time, whether your things bring you joy. It was a little much, and I didn't feel like I was learning much.

However, as the book continued, Kondo dove a little more deeply into specific techniques. Although I had a viscerally negative reaction to some of her suggestions, I really liked her end goal. Kondo's basic premise is that you should get rid of everything that doesn't bring you joy. When everything is pared down, you just organize by storing like with like. The end goal is to be surrounded by only things that you love. I think we all have that special piece of clothing or dish that makes us happy every time we see it. We love what it looks like, how it fits, or the memories they bring. Imagine how much you'd love your home, if the only things you had were things that made you feel this way, and you didn't have the clutter of the unnecessary and unwanted weighing you down.

I am enamored with this idea, but it's bound to be pretty expensive if you take it to the extreme. I own some crappy sweatpants that I wear in my house. They fit and they're comfortable, but I don't love them. Do I want to spend the time and money to find the perfect, fuzzy pair of lounge pants? And when I get tired of them, do I need to throw them out and immediately run out and find new ones? What about cleaning supplies? How much joy do cleaning supplies bring? Sure, the idea of only having things you love is great, but it's not realistic. However, I have tried to change my mindset and focus on surrounding myself with things that bring me joy. Maybe I can slowly make my way toward this ultimate goal.

Kondo consistently anthropomorphizes our things. She says, "Think about how your clothes feel, stuffed in the back of the closet and out of sight. They want to be used. Books want to be read. They are happier to be of use, so you should give them away to someone who will read them. I guess this is a memorable way to keep your things in good repair and in sight, but it also felt a little weird.

The paragraphs that had me gasping in indignation, however, had to do with books and directly contradicted all of Kondo's happy talk about the feelings of our things. Kondo is a fan of getting rid of most of our books. As someone who loves to read but almost never reads a book twice, I agree that hanging onto books isn't worth the hassle. However, Kondo said that when she was reluctant to let go of books that she had really enjoyed she would rip her favorite pages out before getting rid of the book. Seriously?!? What happened to all those feelings she was just talking about? How can she ruin perfectly good books just because she liked them? She eventually decided that she never went back to look at the ripped-out pages anyway, and it wasn't worth it, but it was too late: I was shocked and offended by the very idea.

I feel I may be coming across a little more negative than I actually felt about this book. Sure, I had some problems with it, but Kondo had some interesting ideas I want to try, and I appreciate her overall vision. If I can stay focused, I can turn my condo into a place that I can enjoy and appreciate much more than I do now. Finally, I am unsure about Kondo's ideas about folding, but I'm willing to give them a try.

#15 [2016/CBR8] "Brave Enough" by Cheryl Strayed

"We all get stuck in place on occasion. We all move backward sometimes, Every day we must make the decision to move in the direction of our intentions. Forward is the direction of real life."

I read Wild by Cheryl Strayed back in 2012 and it remains an incredibly memorable and moving experience. I love Strayed's writing. She is thoughtful, empathetic and adept at using poetic language to clearly describe her and other's experiences. So when I heard that she had a new book of quotations coming out, I was very interested. Before picking up Brave Enough (2015) , I didn't even know whether the quotes were hers or ones she had chosen, but it didn't make much difference to me. If you look at my review of Strayed's Tiny Beautiful Things, you'll see that more than half of it is quotes I loved from the book.

It turns out that Brave Enough is a collection of quotes from Strayed's varied writing. She makes a point in the beginning to say that she is not in the know-it-all business of telling others how to live their lives. Instead, these quotes came as she struggled to figure out how to live her own life. The quotes are not particularly grouped together or labeled by source, but I recognized many from previous Strayed books. In fact, many of the ones I highlighted were ones I'd already highlighted from previous books, including some of my favorites:

"Forgiveness doesn't just sit there like a pretty boy in a bar. Forgiveness is the old fat guy you have to haul up the hill."

"Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or heavy as the sacrifices we make for our children."

I read some new, inspiring quotes in Brave Enough but on the whole, I prefer more context. Strayed's comments felt more meaningful in Tiny Beautiful Things when she was responding to someone with a real struggle. Flipping quickly through so many quotes left me feeling less connected to her writing than I usually am. Although I continue to be impressed by Strayed's writing, and I enjoyed many of her quotes, I'd recommend reading Strayed's other books before delving into these.

"Your assumptions about the lives of others are in direct relation to your naive pomposity."

"God is not a granter of wishes. God is a ruthless bitch."

"Hello, fear. Thank you for being here. You're my indication that I'm doing what I need to do."

"Trust your gut. Forgive yourself. Be grateful."

"You have to be brave enough to build the intimacy you deserve. You have to take off all of your clothes and say, I'm right here. This is not the moment to wilt into the underbrush of your insecurities."

#2 (2013/CBR5) "Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

I first learned about Cheryl Strayed when I stumbled upon Wild at an opportune time in my life. I loved it. I loved the honesty, insight, strength, and resilience that Strayed showed in her life, and I loved the adventure of such a crazy journey. In Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar (2012), Cheryl Strayed takes all of the compassion and wisdom she has acquired throughout her own life and uses it to parse out other people's problems.

This book started out as an on-line advice column that Strayed took over under the pseudonym of Sugar. She takes on the universal  and incredibly difficult problems of cheating, unrequited love, addiction, death, grief, relationships, and more. Strayed manages to tie in almost every one of her answers with a personal experience of her own, making this book one part incredibly insightful advice and two parts honest autobiography.

I am a big fan of Strayed's writing and this book was no exception. I kept highlighting line after line as I was reading. And I could really relate to some of the questions. The only thing that sometimes rubbed me the wrong way was the way Strayed called people "Sweetpea" and "Honey" as she responded to their questions. I realize this fit her persona as "Sugar" as well as her compassion and understanding of everyone who wrote to her. But to me the names felt fake and distracted me from the insightful understanding that Strayed had of other people's problems.

Below are some of my favorite quotes [out of context] that I marked as I was reading--mainly so I can remember more when I look back on this book later.

-"Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or heavy as the sacrifices we make for our children...We are obligated to the people we care about and who we allow to care about us, whether we say we love them or not." (15-16)

-"Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It's just there and you have to survive it." (29)

-"She told me that at a certain point we get to decide who it is we allow to influence us." (159)

-"There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don't let a man who doesn't love you be one of them." (186)

-"Shutting off that cyber feedbag will feel like hell those first few days, but I'm certain you'll soon realize how much better you can breathe when you're not constantly breathing in the fumes of your ex's life without you." (256)

-"We are all savages inside. We all want to be the chosen, the beloved, the esteemed." (258)

-"Forgiveness doesn't just sit there like a pretty boy in a bar. Forgiveness is the old fat guy you have to haul up the hill." (273)

-"What happened in this story? and What is this story about?" (313)

-"She'll offer you one of the balloons, but you won't take it because you believe you no longer have a right to such tiny beautiful things." (352)