Between making it onto what seemed like a list of very treasured books, as well as all the exuberant praise at the beginning of the book, I started reading with high expectations. There were things I liked about this book, but I was a little disappointed with this one. I can love young adult books, but this one never quite worked for me. I liked the character and thought some of the book was very original, but by the end of the book I just wanted to be done.
We meet Aaron Soto in the beginning of the book. He's 16 years old and lives with his mom and older brother in a tiny apartment in New York City. His mom works two jobs to support them. His father recently committed suicide. We find out that while grieving after his father's death, Aaron tried to commit suicide himself. However, his girlfriend Genevieve has helped him through it, and is a huge support to him. But when Genevieve leaves for art camp, Aaron meets a boy, Thomas, from another neighborhood. The two hit it off immediately and become best friends.
One more aspect of this book is the company Leteo that has come up with memory erasing procedures for people who want/need it. A friend of Aaron's had this procedure done when his twin brother was murdered. This allowed the boy to live without the pain of constantly missing his brother and blaming himself for his death, but it also meant that the murdered boy was forgotten.
***SPOILERS***
Aaron discovers that he loves Thomas, and that he thinks he might like guys. He admits this to Thomas, who is nonjudgmental, but when Aaron kisses Thomas, Thomas tells Aaron that he's straight and they can never be more than friends. Aaron is despairing after this news and asks his mom if he can get a Leteo procedure to forget Thomas and make him straight.
When Aaron is brutally beaten because of his sexuality, his memories return. It turns out that he'd already had the Leteo procedure done. We find out that six months before, Aaron had fallen in love with another boy, Collin. A bunch of horrible things happen to him at once. When Aaron comes out to his father, his father throws him out of the apartment. Then Collin breaks things off with him after the two are violently attacked by older kids for being gay. When Aaron makes it home, he finds his father dead in the bathtub--something he blames himself for.
Unfortunately, the second beating that gave Aaron his memories back also messed up his brain enough that he's losing his short term memory. He only has a week or two before he can barely function. He tries to say his goodbyes to Collin, Genevieve, and Thomas.
Finally, the version of the book I read had an extra chapter at the end, with a happier ending that involves Aaron getting surgery and his memory returning.
Things I liked:
I liked Genevieve and the description of Aaron's life in the beginning of the book. I really enjoyed seeing Thomas and Aaron get to know each other.
Finding out about what led up to the Leteo procedure before was pretty intense. I knew from the beginning that Aaron was dealing with some pretty heavy stuff, but I didn't know quite how heavy until the middle of the book.
Things I didn't like:
This book was very depressing. It felt like nothing good ever happened. I think I'm especially sensitive to losing memory, but I felt so bad for Aaron's mom who had to take care of him when he lost his short-term memory. I guess the added chapter makes the story end on a happier note, but it feels tacked on.
I know that Aaron couldn't deal with the death of his father, but it seemed the primary reason Aaron kept wanting the Leteo procedure was that he couldn't deal with the fact that his crush/love didn't love him back. He wanted to forget about Collin, and then he wanted to forget about Thomas. Everyone has to deal with rejection. I didn't see how this was a good answer for Aaron's problems.
I don't think Aaron's father was developed enough, making that part of the book not as moving as it might have been. We barely see any kind of relationship with Aaron and his father. It was hard for me to understand why Aaron's mother pushed him to come out to his father when it seemed clear that his father is abusive and intolerant.
Everything around Leteo felt fake to me, which took me out of the story, and made me care less. There is no way that Aaron's mother would have been able to afford the procedure in the first place, and it didn't quite work. I saw one review on Amazon that thought the book might be better if you took out the Leteo stuff and just told the story chronologically. I think I'm inclined to agree.
***END SPOILERS***
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