#36 [2026/CBR18] America the Beautiful? by Blythe Roberson

My husband recommended America the Beautiful?: One Woman in a Borrowed Prius on the Road Most Traveled (2023) by Blythe Roberson. I have a bit of a contest going with my oldest brother to see who can get to more U.S. national parks (I'm winning), and this book seemed on point. Roberson was taking an epic summer road trip to visit every U.S. National Park in the lower 48 that she hadn't yet been to. I chose at the time not to read it, but this summer we were driving back from Glacier National Park and needed some entertainment. We started the Audiobook.

It's hard for me to explain why I originally passed on this book. I have a hard time reading or watching people do things that I've done. This is especially true for Youtube videos of people going to places I've been, especially if it was a meaningful trip. There's a little bit of FOMO that I might have missed out on something cool, but there's also the frustration that comes if I feel they didn't do it "right". I understand that it's not rational, but it might help explain my reaction to this book.

Roberson is a millennial from New York City who grew up camping and obtaining junior ranger badges at various national parks. Now she's decided to take a break from her desk job and go earn junior ranger badges from all the lower 48 National Parks she hasn't been to yet. She picks up her step-father's car and begins at Isle Royale National Park, an island in Lake Superior. She continues around the country, with stops to visit friends along the way.

I thought Roberson could often be funny and entertaining. I enjoyed hearing about her experiences in the parks. I have also camped out of my car, so I could definitely relate. I have gone on a number of road trips to see a couple of national parks at at time, but mine are always limited to a week or two. I think two months would be exhausting. I have also never paid much attention to the junior ranger badges, but it seems like it could be a--sometimes--interesting way to learn more about the parks.

However, I did get a little bored/frustrated with this book. First, I wish there had been more content on the actual national parks. Roberson tended to have very little time, so she would drive in, do a hike, and then leave in a couple of hours. Glacier--the park my husband and I had just left--had maybe a sentence. Others had more, but this book was not really about the parks. In addition, the narrator for the Audiobook mispronounced two of the parks' names: Isle Royale and Guadalupe.

Second, even though I agree with all of Roberson's liberal, feminist tangents, I don't think they all fit well into the book. It felt like she was trying to hit every liberal talking point as filler. Some of these certainly related to the parks, like the fact the land was originally Native American and how Climate Change is affecting these unique and beautiful spaces. However, it all felt like something I'd read before, and her arguments felt a little superficial. 

In the beginning of the book Roberson talks about how few women write travel memoirs or go on adventures like hers. She says that men have much more freedom than women to adventure (often true when kids are involved, but it depends on the couple). She said that fathers can disappear for two months and no one thinks anything of it. I disagree. Again, it depends on the family, but my little brother could not and would not abandon his wife and kids for two months to go on an adventure. I think men traveling solo more than women was more true thirty to forty years ago. I travel by myself all the time, and I see plenty of women traveling solo. There are also tons of Youtube accounts of solo women sharing their journeys. It's not as remarkable anymore.

Although there were some entertaining parts, this book did not really resonate with me.

#35 [2026/CBR18] Patchwork by Kate Evans

I try to read a graphic novel every once in awhile to expand my literary tastes. This year, I saw Patchwork (2025) by Kate Evans on NPR's Books We Love List and knew that I needed to read it. I love Jane Austen, and Pride and Prejudice has been my favorite book since I first read it back in college. I've heard little tidbits about Austen's life here and there, but I really don't know much about her. I figured this book would be perfect for me.

Jane Austen and her sister sewed a patchwork quilt for their mother, which is the inspiration for the title. I thought Patchwork was very well done. The drawings are beautiful--especially the full-page drawings. They really allowed me to dive into Austen's world and imagine what her life was like. In fact, I learned a lot about Austen, including her early years, her family, her connections, and how her writing was originally received. I had heard that Austen and her sister were close--much like Jane and Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice, but I saw how important they were to each other while reading this book.

Evans often uses text from Austen's books in order to show what happened in Jane Austen's life back in the day. This is a fascinating technique because I could imagine Austen using her own life as inspiration for her novels. I am not as familiar with all of Austen's work as some, so I imagine the people that really know Austen's work would get even more out of this technique. Of course, we don't know what was actually said or thought back then, and apparently Jane Austen's sister, Cassandra, may have burnt the more interesting letters she exchanged with Jane.

In addition, Evans weaves in context of the time period. In one section of the book, Evans describes where all of the different layers of the quilt came from, including cotton from American slavery, linen from the Irish, and other textiles from the East India Company. The context was insightful, helpful, and well done.

The only frustrating thing about this book is that I occasionally found it a little hard to follow. I came in knowing so little about Austen that I sometimes wanted a little more context about her life and how we know what we know about her. In fact, this book has piqued my curiosity so strongly that I am now interested in reading a traditional biography of Austen in order to learn more.

This was a relatively quick read with beautiful pictures. There are also extensive notes in the back. I read a good portion of them, but it was a bit of a slog and I ran out of time to finish all of them. However, I would recommend this book to any Jane Austen fan.

#34 [2026/CBR18] Raising Hare by Chloe Dalton

I saw Raising Hare (2025) on so many different lists at the end of the year, but I was a little resistant. All I knew was that a woman raised a baby hare and wrote a book about it. I love animals, so you'd think I'd jump at a chance to read more about them. However, I'm not a big fan of turning wild animals into pets, and I feared that Raising Hare would be some kind of Disney-fied rendition of nature.

Fortunately, I was wrong. I listened to Raising Hare as an Audiobook, and I loved it. As soon as I finished, my inclination was to immediately get the hardcover, so I could read it again myself. (I haven't done that yet, but I think it's only a matter of time).

In February 2021, Chloe Dalton has returned to her country home in the English countryside while everything is shut down by Covid. Her home is a converted barn that sits in the middle of a field and family members live close by. One day she stumbles on a newborn hare lying flat in the middle of the lane. She hopes that its mother will come for it and leaves it be. But when she walks by again, many hours later, the hare is in the same place. Worried that it will get run over or that dogs will get it, Dalton picks up the hare and brings it home.

I learned a lot about hares in this book--primarily, that hares are different from rabbits. Rabbits burrow underground and are born furless and with their eyes closed. Hares do not burrow, but have their babies above ground. Hares are born with fur and with their eyes open. They are able to move very shortly after birth but rely on hiding until they are a little older and faster. When hares are a year or younger, they are called leverets.

Dalton quickly learned that it is very difficult to keep a leveret alive in captivity. It is rarely, if ever, done and there is very little information about it. But she was informed that it was too late to bring the leveret back, now that it had her smell on it. After trying to pawn the leveret off on her sister, Dalton focused on keeping the little thing alive. 

Dalton fed the leveret three times a day, but otherwise handled it only when necessary. She pulled some grasses from the field near where she found the leveret and set up a little home in a shoebox. Critically, Dalton made a hole in the shoe box, so the leveret was not trapped. In fact, the one time Dalton followed "hare-raising" advice from the internet and put the leveret in a cage, was the one time that the leveret did not do well and seemed close to dying. It seems that the stress of captivity is not good for them.

I loved Dalton's approach to keeping the leveret. She used a mix of common sense and a respect for its autonomy as an independent creature. She did not think of it as her pet. She tried not to interfere or control it, and she was always opening up doors in her house so that it had free rein. Dalton wanted the leveret to grow up and live a normal life outside.

It was clear the leveret felt safe with Dalton and the two had a relationship. But this book isn't just about the leveret, but also about how much the leveret changed Dalton. She became so much more aware of the other animals in the fields and the dangers they faced. She started doing research on a large number of new topics as the natural world became more important to her. She learned a number of small things she could do around her house to improve wildlife habitat. The leveret even changed her perspective on success and what she wanted out of life. This small animal that is often overlooked or dismissed as a pest became so interesting and so important as soon as Dalton took the time to observe it with its best interests at heart.

It was inevitable that the leveret raised by Dalton would eventually take off into the fields. Sometimes it would come back in the morning, and sometimes she wouldn't see it for weeks. But one day, Dalton found the young hare's new babies in her garden. And so, she got to learn even more about hares as she watched the hare that she had raised, raise others. 

I loved this book. It seemed like both a small, personal story, and also a meaningful glimpse into a larger world. I'm still thinking about this book many days later. I'm not sure if everyone will find this book as emotional and as powerful as me, but I would highly recommend it.

#32 [2026/CBR18] Dogs, Boys, and Other Things I've Cried About by Isabel Klee

I stumbled on Isabel Klee on one of my Instagram-reeling marathons (@Simonsits). She seemed like a nice, young woman who fosters dogs and documents their stories on Instagram. She lives in Brooklyn, which I recognized from my visits to my brother and enjoyed seeing again. I've liked her Instagram stories for awhile now. The publicity she brings to her rescue dogs and the rescue organizations she works with bring in a fair bit of money and many potential adopters. Every time she works with partners to advertise things on Instagram, she donates some of that money.

So, when I saw Dogs, Boys, and Other Things I've Cried About (2026) by Klee, I figured it might be fun to read. I'd heard that she had worked for The Dogist (another NYC-based, social media, dog person), and I was curious about the details. I was also curious how she came to have her dog, Simon, and how he changed her life. In addition, I'd seen Isabel's fiancé on Instagram, and I was curious about their story. I used Audible to listen to the Audiobook, which is read by Klee.

Unfortunately, I was a little disappointed in this book because it wasn't what I was expecting. I wanted to like this book because I liked Klee from Instagram, but there wasn't enough detail for me. If I'm going to read a memoir, then I want to really understand what makes them tick and how they became who they are. Although I superficially learned about some of Klee's previous relationships, I didn't really get a sense of who she was. Many of the dogs that she discusses in her book, I'd seen on Instagram, so she'd taken care of them relatively recently. But she has them interspersed throughout the book with mini lessons of what we can learn from them. I found I enjoyed seeing their stories in person more than reading about them.

Klee writes that she dropped out of college and moved to New York City, something she's always wanted since growing up in New Jersey. She lives in a number of not great apartments with various roommates and dates men who are not great for her--at least two of them cheated on her. I was interested to hear how she adopted Simon, and when she found out that he had a seizure disorder. It was also interesting to see what she thought about her now-fiancé when she first met him. 

It's hard for me to describe what put me off this book. First, I do wish I could have understood her trajectory better. Although she mentions working for Elias for many years (the dogist), there was very little detail about what she did for him besides a couple short stories here and there. I had assumed that it was her work with Elias that led her to developing her own social media platforms, but she never talks about it. Second, I wish Klee had been more specific when discussing her relationships. She would mention an ex-boyfriend and that they had problems, but there were never enough details for me to really see what was happening. Even when she has problems with her current fiancé, she says that she pushed him away because he wasn't crazy about her, then she went to therapy and it was better. It is certainly her right to only divulge what she is comfortable divulging, but I found it frustrating and difficult to relate to. Instead, she used generic descriptions about love and friendship and lessons learned that were hard to hear from someone younger than me without the details to back it up.

I enjoy Klee's content, and I wanted to enjoy this book, but it just wasn't for me.

#27 [2026/CBR18] Burn Book by Kara Swisher

My book club chose Burn Book: A Tech Love Story (2024) by Kara Swisher as our latest book. We'd already read another tech memoir, Careless People, which I enjoyed. I was hoping I would like Burn Book as well. In the end, I didn't love it. Although there were parts that were engaging, I did not have enough interest in or knowledge about the subject matter for me to appreciate it. 

Kara Swisher has been a tech reporter for three decades, covering tech from the very beginning back in the 1990's. She knows all the players, has scooped a good number of stories, and seems to be important in her field. I might have found this book more interesting if I'd heard of her or knew anything about her. But even though I begrudgingly and eventually accept technological progress, I am usually one of the last ones on the bandwagon. My phone does so much for me now, and I really do appreciate it. However, I also feel relief when I go backpacking, and I'm completely disconnected from all of it.

Swisher discusses her relationships with various tech moguls over the years. She mentions conversations she's had with them, articles she's written about them, and interviews she's done with them. Some of these people I'd heard of, including: Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Sheryl Sandberg. Many of them I had not heard of, but sometimes I'd heard of their companies. Most of this I didn't find particularly interesting. I understand that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates did some pretty cool things, but I just don't care if they were interviewed together. 

In a similar vein, I appreciate that Apple was at one time a pioneer in products and design, but I'm not a fan. I don't like how you have to have everything Apple to use anything else from Apple. I don't like that I can't see my brother's photo albums because I don't have an iphone. Everyone says Apple is intuitive, but that's only if you've been using Apple products all your life. Sometimes Apple users feel like a cult that I have no interest in joining. Swisher, on the other hand, seems to love Apple and Steve Jobs and she talks about them a lot.

Swisher seems to be smart and funny, and some of her takes were interesting and/or amusing. (She calls Rupert Murdoch, technically her boss at one time, Uncle Satan). I think I would have been more drawn into the book if she had made it more in depth or personal. She would give a little anecdote about a famous tech dude, and then move onto the next one. But because I don't follow that world at all, I did not have the context for it to be meaningful, I often didn't know anything about the person she was talking about, and I didn't feel like I was learning anything.

My favorite parts of the book were when Swisher wrote about where tech was going (AI) and how it could change all of our lives for better or for worse. She warned us a number of times that having a small, homogeneous group of rich, white, men who care more about money and power than the greater good is not who we want making all these decisions. Many of these tech moguls started out wanting to do good in the world, but they've proven that they do not care about harmful side effects and collateral damage (Mark Zuckerberg). Whether spreading misinformation that potentially sways elections or foments violence around the world, or targeting young teens with predatory advertising, they've shown that new technology needs a legal and ethical framework to be safe.

I can imagine the right person loving this book, but I am not that person.

#25 [2026/CBR18] Daughters of the Bamboo Grove by Barbara Demick

Daughters of the Bamboo Grove (2025) by Barbara Demick is another book I first saw on NPR's Favorite Books List. Then my husband read it, and he also recommended it to me. Demick is a journalist who was based in China for a number of years. She writes about China's one-child policy, and how that affected children and families in China. Because of the draconian rules around having too many children, children were being abandoned in growing numbers, especially baby girls. In 1992, China allowed for international adoption and over 160,000 children were placed out of the country--most to the United States--over the next three decades. 

Demick focuses on two twin girls, who were the third and fourth children of two rice farmers born in an isolated mountain town in China in 2000. The twin girls were Fangfang and Shuangjie. While the parents were in the city with Shuangjie making money to pay the fine for their children, Fangfang was brutally kidnapped from her aunt and uncle's home where she had been staying. It is estimated that as many as ten percent of the children adopted out of China were forcibly taken from their parents or relatives.

So, Shuangjie grew up with her family in China with the shadow of the traumatic kidnapping of her twin sister. Fangfang was adopted to an older, religious couple in Texas who had already adopted one little girl from China. Both girls grew up in a loving family, but they had drastically different experiences. Through Demick's reporting, she met Fangfang's family in China, and thought she might try to figure out where Fangfang ended up for them. With a lot of luck, Demick discovered Fangfang's likely location, but when she reached out to the family, they were not interested. Fangfang--now Esther--was only nine years old and her adopted father had just died. Demick told Fangfang's Chinese family that their daughter was safe in America, but left it alone after that.

Many years later when the girls are seventeen, Esther decides that she wants to know more about her birth family, and they get in touch with Demick again to help them. Demick facilitates some Facetime calls and then finally a meeting in China with the two families.

This book was fascinating. I was aware of the one-child policy in China, but I knew almost no specifics and had never thought critically of what it would entail. The breadth of the Family Planning Association, how many people were involved, and their powers over people's bodies and lives was shocking to read about. The kidnapping of children to sell them to orphanages was brazen and astonishing.

I was impressed by Demick's ability to explain complex policies in a huge country without getting bogged down in too many details. I also like that the book starts out in China, from the point of view of the birth parents. It gave me a better understanding of the people in China and the tragedies they faced through the one-child policy. In addition, I was impressed by how much compassion she had for everyone involved. She really focused on the people and their love for their children.

Demick also discusses orphans, specifically Chinese and Korean orphans raised in the United States. When Esther came to China, she finally looked like everyone around her, but she was also an American foreigner.

I found this book hard to put down, and I feel like I learned a lot. Highly recommended.

#22 [2026/CBR18] Unshrunk by Laura Delano

Unshrunk: A Story of Psychiatric Treatment Resistance (2025) by Laura Delano is another book I discovered on NPR's List of Favorite Books. I have an older brother who fell into some major mental health problems when he was in college. He has had a very hard life since then. He is often difficult, nonsensical and hard to be around, but I also know what he was like before he got sick. In an effort to understand him better or maybe find something to help him, I find myself reading a fair number of books about Schizophrenia and mental health. When I saw Unshrunk, I was intrigued and was able to get the Audiobook from the library.

Laura Delano is the author and narrator of Unshrunk. She grew up very well off, an outstanding student, and a competitive squash player. But at 14 years old, she began having mental health problems--struggling with her feelings and anger towards her family. She saw her first psychiatrist who labeled her as bipolar and started her on a mood stabilizer and antidepressant. And so for the next thirteen years, Delano's life was a parade of more psychiatrists, more prescribed drugs, more symptoms, repeated stays in hospitals, thoughts of suicide, and one serious suicide attempt.

Delano's family was able to give her access to some very good psychiatric resources. She also managed to graduate from Harvard and go to a debutante ball in the middle of all of this. But her mental, and then physical health was such a struggle, that Delano did not want to live anymore. Doctors told her she had "treatment resistant" bipolar, which meant the drugs weren't helping  her, and she needed more.

After being put in a Borderline Personality Group Therapy class, Delano met another woman who convinced her to go to AA meetings. These meetings helped Delano get sober, and she started taking a more active part in her care. She read all of the information she could get about the drugs she'd been prescribed. Most of them were FDA approved because the drug's efficacy had been shown through six-week trials. (And sometimes this efficacy was only marginally better than the placebo effect). There were no long-term trials, and they had never been tested on children, including the ones she had been prescribed as a child. She also read about some of the debilitating side effects, many of which can cause new mental or physical issues.

Delano decided to get off of her meds, but there was also very little information about safely getting off psychiatric medications. These meds can affect every system in the body, and she'd been taking them for years. Lithium is the go-to drug for bipolar, but there is a very fine line between the amount of drug that is therapeutic and the amount that is toxic. In addition, getting off bipolar medication too fast can trigger a larger manic episode than never taking it in the first place. Delano found her best information on various online forums from other patients who had used trial and error to very slowly wean themselves off.

In the end, Delano was able to wean herself off all of her medications, stay sober, be a part of a healthy relationship, run a business, and raise her children. She says that her brain is certainly not always healthy, but she is better now at dealing with negative thoughts and emotions. Delano is not against all psychiatric drugs for all people, but she thinks they are pushed too quickly without adequately informing the patients of the real risks and other options.

I appreciated that Delano telling her own story really showed how difficult dealing with mental health problems can be. Some people are under the illusion that psychiatric drugs are some kind of panacea. If anyone has mental health issues, they just need to get on their meds. But it's not that simple. Delano was compliant with her meds and trying everything, desperate to get better. Instead, she kept spiraling down. I could see why she was hopeless.

In the end, though, like most psychiatric books I read, I found it kind of depressing. I'm glad that Delano was able to figure out what worked for her. But she is very smart, determined, and has a large amount of support and resources. Also, what worked for her, isn't necessarily going to work for someone else. There are plenty of people whose psych meds are incredibly helpful to them. What it comes down to in the end, is we don't really understand mental health very well.

#19 [2026/CBR18] Memorial Days by Geraldine Brooks

I saw Memorial Days (2025) by Geraldine Brooks on a number of year-end lists. I wasn't sure I wanted to read a book about grief, but there was something about the description that made me want to give it a try. This was my first book by Brooks, but I really enjoyed her writing. I thought she was honest, vulnerable, and insightful.

On May 27, 2019, Brook's husband and partner of over thirty years, Tony Horwitz, collapsed and died on a sidewalk in DC, where he was promoting his new book. He was sixty years old and seemingly fit and healthy. Brooks was at their home on Martha's Vineyard when she got a phone call informing her that her husband was dead. The caller hung up and she was left by herself, blindsided, and hundreds of miles away from him. She wanted to fall apart, but instead she held everything inside--forced to deal with the logistics of death first.

Three years later, Brooks is flying to Flinders Island, a beautiful, sparsely populated, and isolated location off the coast of Australia. Brooks is Australian, and thinks if she hadn't met Tony, she may have ended up there instead of living in the United States. Tony was one of those diverging paths in her life that took her in a different direction. In going to Flinders, she is getting a glimpse of something she gave up in order to be with him. And she is finally taking the time to properly grieve her husband.

Brooks jumps back and forth between her time grieving on the island; what exactly happened to her husband back in 2019; and more information about the lives she and her husband created together. I found all parts of this book interesting.

When Brooks describes finding out her husband is dead, having to tell their children the news, and not being able to see his body, I couldn't stop crying. It was very emotional. But she also points out a number of practical things. Tony died at a busy, urban DC hospital, but Brooks found them lacking in empathy and patience. Red tape kept her from seeing his body, and also kept him from donating his organs. Later, Brooks struggled taking over the financial tasks that Tony had taken care of for most of their marriage. She gives practical advice to couples in order to make these logistical things easier when you're already dealing with so much.

While on the island, Brooks thinks back to how she and Tony met, their work throughout the years, as well as their children. She also looks into different forms of formal grieving across cultures--all while using the isolation for her own grieving.

I was surprised by how much this book affected me. Her descriptions felt so real and relatable, and it made me think about my own life and relationships. I listened to this book on Audiobook, but I'm tempted to get a hardcover copy. I also might try some other books by Brooks.

#18 [2026/CBR18] The Backyard Bird Chronicles by Amy Tan

I'm not sure if it was because I was getting older or my interests just shifted, but back in 2019 I suddenly became fascinated with birding. It felt like a whole new world opened up simply because I started paying attention. Now that I have a dog, I spend more time walking her than going out with my camera looking for birds. However, I still look out for them, and I still find birds (all animals, really) fascinating. I'm officially hooked.

Recently I stumbled on bird drawing classes from John Muir Laws. He has a ton of great resources and is an encouraging teacher (johnmuirlaws.com). He teaches nature journaling as a way for people to pay more attention to the natural world around them and thus want to protect it. This is relevant because my brother gifted me a copy of The Backyard Bird Chronicles (2024) by Amy Tan for Christmas. She took drawing and journaling classes from John Muir Laws, but she can't drive, so she started nature journaling in her backyard in Sausalito, California. The Backyard Bird Chronicles is Amy Tan's chronological drawings, descriptions, and stories about a whole different world happening right under her nose.

This book seemed designed specifically for me. I feel like I have so much in common with Tan. She started out knowing only three kinds of birds in her backyard. I began knowing only three birds in Colorado: robins, mallards, and crows. Tan did not take a drawing class until she was 64. I only just started drawing. I related wholly to Tan's excitement and wonder as she learned and observed. The birds' lives played out in front of her as chicks learned to fend for themselves, dominance patterns emerged, and life or death drama occurred daily.

Now, even with my love of birds, I went into this book wondering if a description of backyard feeders would hold my attention. It did. Tan is observant and empathetic, and she is a natural storyteller. She notices interesting aspects of her birds, and asks intriguing questions as she wonders about their behavior. All of the drawings of birds in her book are done by her, and they are great. I've found myself looking carefully at them as I try to figure out how to draw my own birds.

Occasionally the outside world intrudes into Tan's backyard. Raging wildfires led to unusual visitors as birds struggled to get away from the stifling smoke. Covid affected the world, but Tan's backyard remained a calm oasis, full of feeders and bird baths.

I really enjoyed this book. I have been inspired to try my own hand at nature journaling. I love the idea of learning to draw, and paying more attention to the natural world around me--wherever it can be found. I'm not sure if some admiration/appreciation of birds is required to enjoy this book or if Tan could win over even those who are still apathetic about our flying, feathered neighbors.

"I don't feel indifferent to any creature struggling to survive. I think my distress over theirs is a good thing." (168)

"I rationalize the cost of mealworms by calculating the amount of money I have saved by not having children." (178)

#17 [2026/CBR18] The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

I'm a little burned out on self-help books, but I always think the next one will help me a little more. On the whole, I've learned some important things about myself, as well as various coping strategies. I keep reading them even though I'm tired of them because I have a little FOMO when it comes to missing that one book that will fully explain me to myself.

Brené Brown was recommended to me by my therapist, and The Gifts of Imperfection (2010) seemed like something of a classic, so I went with that one. I was expecting Brown to dive right into shame and perfectionism, but instead The Gifts of Imperfection is centered around "wholehearted living," which is defined as a process of becoming, rooted in self-worth and embracing one's authentic self. I think I expected something a little different from this book, and it probably didn't help that I was listening to it instead of reading it. I was sometimes confused about what Brown's focus was. It took me awhile to figure out that this was more general advice for a better life.

But looking back on it, and with the help of the internet, this book is pretty straightforward. It has three tools and ten guideposts to help you achieve a "wholehearted life." It's interesting how many of these self help books fall back to the same things. Brown talks a fair bit about self compassion, something I've already read an entire book on. It seems that there is general agreement in what makes a happy and fulfilling life.

Cliff's Notes:

-Let go of perfectionism for wholehearted living.

Three tools:

1) Courage    2) Compassion     3) Connection

Ten Guideposts for Wholehearted Living:

1) Authenticity - letting go of what people think

2) Self-Compassion - nurturing kindness toward oneself

3) Resilient Spirit - cultivating a resilient spirit

4) Gratitude and Joy - practicing gratitude

5) Intuition and Trusting Faith - believing in oneself

6) Creativity - engaging in creativity

7) Play and rest - allowing time for play and rest

8) Calm and stillness - managing anxiety

9) Meaningful work - engaging in work that matters

10) Laughter, song, and dance - embracing joy

The one advice that stuck with me the most was Brown's recommendation to follow the vowels every day: A - abstain from something bad for you (Instagram, alcohol, whatever it is for you); E - exercise; I - do something for yourself; O - do something for others; U - see if you are holding on to unexpressed emotions; and Y, yeah, be grateful or excited about something good that happened. Perhaps I forgot the last two vowels, but it's a pithy little way to get yourself back on track.

I like how Brown uses personal stories to make some points, and I found this book readable and potentially helpful. Perhaps if I'd read this book earlier in my self-help book education, it would have had more of an impact on me.

#15 [2026/CBR18] Smile, or You're Doing it Wrong by Andy Glaze

As I write this, Andy Glaze is almost 100 miles into the Arizona Monster 300 Trail Race. It's over 300 miles of mostly trail running with a cut off of seven days. It's really beyond my comprehension. I've backpacked about 250 miles, but it took me three weeks. Ten to fifteen miles of hiking per day with plenty of sleep is nothing like what's happening in Arizona right now. I stumbled upon Andy on Instagram. He is a fire battalion chief in California and an ultrarunner. I have the yearning to become an ultrarunner, but my body breaks down every time I try to jog for more than ten minutes per week: ankles, Achilles, hips, IT band, TFL. I keep doing physical therapy and I keep trying, but it seems that I am most successful living vicariously through those that can.

Glaze first caught my attention for his positive attitude and his running "jorts" (running shorts that look like jean cut-offs). And then I learned that he has run 100 miles per week for over 300 weeks--which is now close to six years! Is this a good idea? Absolutely not--which Glaze himself admits. But is it impressive? Indubitably. I've had so many weeks where I was traveling, I was sick, I was hurt, or I just wasn't feeling it and barely exercised. 100 miles a week is averaging 14.3 miles per day--for years! And if you can't run for a day, then you have six days to make up the mileage. I'm afraid this streak would start feeling like an albatross around my neck, but it's still very impressive!

When I saw that Glaze had a memoir out: Smile, or You're Doing it Wrong: A Journey From Rock Bottom to Redemption (2026), I wasn't sure I wanted to read an influencer book. I like to lurk in the shadows and not get too involved with people I see on social media. But I was curious about Glaze, and I had a credit on Audible waiting for me. 

Glaze reads the Audiobook himself, and he talks about his life, the obstacles he overcame, and how he got into running. I've discovered that many people involved in punishing endurance sports have survived major difficulties in their lives. Whether it is an alcoholic or abusive parent, neglect, or addiction, it seems to pop up more often in these athletes than you might expect. I am guessing that sometimes they feel the need to keep accomplishing something, that endurance sports might be a helpful emotional balm on their past trauma, and/or the physical pain of a race is nothing compared to the physical or psychological pain that they've already been through. So, I was only a little bit surprised to hear that Glaze was a drug addict as a teenager. His parents tracked him down on the street and sent him off to one of those youth camps in Utah that have since been determined to be inhumane and abusive.

Even after getting off drugs and graduating from college, Glaze struggled to find himself. He was a sedentary, unmotivated chain smoker. When he ran 1.5 miles as part of a class and struggled mightily to finish, he decided to turn things around. To get all the details, you need to read his story, but he now runs much more than that mile and a half.

On the whole, I liked this book. Glaze seemed to be honest and open about his struggles, and he has an optimistic outlook that encourages people to try hard things. I found his book inspiring--even if my goals are simply to walk 10,000 steps a day and run when I'm not too hurt. 

My only nitpick is that Glaze tells the story more by subject, and this sometimes led to my confusion. Sometimes more details would have been helpful. For instance, in high school, Glaze's father was dying of cancer. So, for much of the book when he talked about his father, I was assuming he meant his step father--even though we didn't get very much information on him until later in the book. And it wasn't until near the end of the book that I learned that Glaze's father actually survived a terminal diagnosis for thirty years and had been around the whole time. In addition, when Glaze mentioned that his first wife asked him for a divorce, I wasn't even aware that he had gotten married. He said the divorce was very hard on him, but it was difficult for me to understand the emotional implications when the woman and the relationship had not even been mentioned before.

This book was interesting, easy to read, and inspiring. Recommended for those that find this kind of thing intriguing. 

#12 [2026/CBR18] One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This by Omar El Akkad

I found One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This [One Day] (2025) by Omar El Akkad because I was seeing it all over the place. It won the National Book Award and was on a number of high-profile lists. I've been interested in learning more about Palestine for some time, especially after the October 7, 2023 attack on Israel by Hamas, and the subsequent violence from Israel against Palestinians. I found this book very well written and eye opening.

Omar El Akkad was born in Cairo, Egypt. When his father got a job in Doha, Qatar, Omar moved with his family to Qatar, growing up in that country. Later, he moved to Canada where he became a journalist. Now he lives near Portland with his wife and daughter. It seems that El Akkad wrote One Day because it was killing him to see all of the death, destruction, and suffering of Palestine and its people. At the same time, the United States is blithely supporting Israel, only murmuring the occasional platitude when confronted. The hypocrisy is strong with both American political parties. El Akkad points out numerous times how Americans are constantly trumpeting buzzwords like "freedom and morality" but as soon as it is in America's (or its leader's) interest, any high ideals that we pretend to espouse are thrown out the window--especially when it's something happening far away and involves "others".

    "One of the hallmarks of Western liberalism is an assumption, in hindsight, of virtuous resistance as the only polite expectation of people on the receiving end of colonialism. While the terrible thing is happening--while the land is still being stolen and the natives still being killed--any form of opposition is terroristic and must be crushed for the sake of civilization. But decades, centuries later, when enough of the land has been stolen and enough of the natives killed, it is safe enough to venerate resistance in hindsight." (18)

One thing that El Akkad talked about that hit me deeply was the way in which western reporters cover the war in Palestine, and the language they use. When Israel is the attacker, it's passive voice and a clinical presentation. A Palestinian girl was unfortunately hit by a bullet during the conflict. But when the violence is from the Palestinian side, it is described as "terrorists" and intentional violence. Just listening to the news, it's difficult to get an idea of the scope of the intentional killing and destruction that Palestine was enduring.

I am moderately informed and occasionally read the news, but I was getting a better feel of what was going on in Palestine from Instagram reels--although these were very hard to watch. What was frustrating, though, is that I did not necessarily trust the Reels because I didn't know where they came from or how reliable they were. Yet when I looked up specific things I'd seen on Instagram that were especially egregious, they were all turning out to be true. 

It was Instagram Reels, famous advocates like Greta Thunberg raising awareness, and even the International Criminal Court putting an arrest warrant out for Netanyahu that made me more aware of how immoral the United States (by supporting Israel) was acting. In December 2024, the Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International accused Israel of genocide. It's not the side of history I wanted to be on.

Another thing that El Akkad discussed in One Day that really changed my thinking is how the United States frames its actions. Any violence perpetrated against us is terrorism by madmen who are intent on destroying our way of life. But any violence perpetrated by the United States is a "justified and measured response with unfortunate collateral." No matter how you phrase it, though, blowing up someone's home or killing someone's child is still blowing up someone's home or killing someone's child. The damage is the same. Just because the United States is powerful enough to call their violence "legal" doesn't make it any better.

I was still reading this book when Trump and Hegseth started their war against Iran. I still don't understand why they started it, what they hope to achieve, or what they think is going to happen in the long run, but it deeply underscores El Akkad's point. The United States just blew up a school that killed over 150 children. They can say they didn't mean to and they'll look into it, but the damage has been done. Let's explain to the parents of those children that we're not the terrorists.

I still am very ignorant about both the history and current situation in Palestine. (Although One Day was very moving, it is not a history book). [I am looking for a well-researched, concise, and accurate history of Palestine and Israel if anyone has suggestions.] Perhaps I am too idealistic, but I don't want to choose any sides here. I want the killing and inhumanity to stop, so I am against anyone not treating others as people. That means the war crimes Israel has perpetrated, the occupation of Palestine, the violence by Hamas on October 7th, the settlers pushing people out of their homes, and the United States attacking Iraq and Iran for lies and distraction and causing irreparable harm.

Highly recommended.

#11 [2026/CBR18] The Anxious Perfectionist by Clarissa W. Ong and Michael P. Twohig

I've been reading a lot of self-help books lately for a number of reasons. It is great when something I read can make a concrete difference in my life. I just recently read another book on perfectionism, called The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control. That book was interesting, but a little frustrating and left me wanting more. So, I listened to The Anxious Perfectionist (2022) by Clarissa W. Ong and Michael P. Twohig hoping for a better understanding of perfectionism and how it might affect me.

Although The Anxious Perfectionist did not have the fun quiz that began the last book I read on perfectionism, I found this one a little easier to read and digest. I found a number of practical actions that could be helpful and will be trying to incorporate into my life.

First, the author recommends letting go of your labels and stories. Basically, these are words you use to identify with yourself or others. For instance: "I'm so unorganized, hopeless, bad in social contexts", or whatever it might be. These labels are natural but they can force you into a box--making it hard to be anything else. And they might not even be true in the first place. 

Secondly, the authors advise that you focus on your values: what really matters to you. Honesty, virtue, hard work, friendship, integrity, learning, enjoying the outdoors. Everyone has different values, so it's important to really think about what matters to you. Then you can decide from there to do things that feed your values. 

Much like the first book I read on perfectionism, these authors understand that perfectionists are often overwhelmed, afraid of failure, or otherwise unwilling to get started on things that really matter to them. They urge using your values to help push you into action. You might not want to put yourself out there and sign up for a class, but if you have a value of learning, it might be worth it. The authors mention that perfectionists often want to wait for the perfect conditions before starting a new project (definitely me), but getting one half or even a quarter of something done is better than nothing. And when you begin again, you won't have as much left to do.

I've found that my brain is always looking to finish everything all at once, so I'll finally have nothing to worry about. My house will be perfect, my job will be perfect, and everything will be caught up. Obviously, this is never going to happen, but I've found that even reaching for it increases my anxiety. I've discovered that it's better to just have one or two small things I know I can get done and focus on those and only those. That way I stay productive and I can feel fulfilled by the small things that I have accomplished. I can't let my mind run off with grand, unrealistic dreams, or think about every single problem that might come up as I try to fulfill those grand dreams.

The authors use the acronym SMART to help lay out goals that go with your values. SMART (which my husband told me is widely used in business schools as well) stands for: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Relevant means that it supports your values and time bound means that it must have a deadline. I've had a goal of finishing a book I wrote for NaNoWriMo many years ago. However, without a hard deadline, that goal is meaningless--as you can see from my still unfinished draft.

Ong and Twohig also discuss being kind to yourself (which has come up in pretty much every self-help book I've read recently, so it must be important), and constantly reevaluating your goals to make sure they continue to align with your values. 

I've been considerably more productive since reading these two books on perfectionism. Although I still don't feel like I understand exactly when I'm being a healthy go-getter versus an unhealthy striver/avoider, I think I'm moving in the right direction.

#10 [2026/CBR18] The Look by Michelle Obama

I am a big fan of Michelle Obama, and I find news about either Obama kind of nostalgic and reassuring these days. So, I picked up The Look (2025) by Michelle Obama from my library as soon as I heard about it. It is probably relevant that I do not have a strong interest in fashion. Although I like to sometimes browse through movie stars' dresses from award shows or look at wedding dresses, I personally dress only for comfort. My job and my lifestyle do not require anything special, so I live most of my life in workout clothes. 

The Look is a coffee-table-sized book that dives into Michelle Obama's style from before, during, and after her time in the White House. The primary focus of this book is her time as First Lady, and there are many beautiful pictures throughout. Looking back at their time in the White House, I always thought Michelle Obama looked nice, but I never thought much about all the work that went into it.

You might think that an entire book filled with pictures of outfits is just a fluffy lifestyle read, but I found it to be a very interesting book. In a country and a world where women are judged more directly for their appearance, Michelle Obama was the first Black First Lady in the United States--ramping up the pressure she felt exponentially. There were political rivals ready to pounce on her if she did anything that did not "live up to" the high office that she and her husband held. 

Under all of this pressure, Michelle Obama used her sway as first lady to highlight new designers that might otherwise be overlooked. She also chose to wear clothes that were comfortable and practical, looking professional and appropriate, but also approachable. Obama's stylist, Meredith Koop wrote a section of the book, describing how she became Obama's stylist, how she picked clothes out for Michelle, and how much work went into every outfit. In addition, Obama had someone who did her makeup and someone else who did her hair. They all worked together to create a seamless image.

Probably the most eye-opening part of this book was how much work went into all of this. Multiple, specially designed outfits, were chosen for each part of every day. They took into account the location, the time of day, the nature of the event, the weather, and other cultural aspects. Meredith would often find an American designer with ties to whatever country Michelle was visiting to show respect to that country. I am impressed by what Michelle Obama was able to do, and how much time and effort went into it. 

The State Dinners were a huge affair, and for every one Michelle had the perfect dress, hair, and makeup. All of it was incredibly thoughtful, strategic, and flattering. The pictures in the book do a great job showing these dresses off. But what really hit me was that Barack Obama wore the same black tuxedo for every state dinner. I'm not sure what, if anything, he did as far as hair and makeup, but it's safe to say that Michelle Obama's look took a lot more effort. Now, I don't want to get rid of style and dressing up; the world would certainly be less interesting. However, think of what else women could get done if they didn't have to spend such a disparate amount of time, money, and energy worrying about all of this. Or if there were an acceptable equivalent of a black tuxedo for women, something they could throw on for a special occasion, pulling out of their closet over and over again for any fancy occasion without judgment or expectation.

Michelle Obama also talks about her hair in this book. Being a white girl who grew up in a pretty white neighborhood, my first experience learning about Black hair was through Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair. Michelle Obama talks about how the first time she got braids when she was young, she felt freedom. However, she knew the country expected a certain look from its first lady, and she did not want the political conversation to turn into a discussion about her hair. So, she kept it straight and more conservative. Now that Barack is out of politics, Michelle is able to be more free with her hair, and she has been showing the myriad hairstyles she can have with braids.

Although it is true that I cannot even imagine putting that much effort into my appearance, I found myself wondering what it would be like to have such talented people finding my clothes, and doing my hair and makeup. Would I feel like a different person, or would I still feel like myself? How much of a difference would it make? I wouldn't want the pressure Michelle Obama was under for even one second, but it would be such a fun experience to have a styling team like hers for a day. Or two. 

#8 [2026/CBR18] The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler

I guess I've been on something of a self-help kick lately. My therapist recommended that I read a couple of books, and now Amazon has decided to offer up some more. The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power (2023) by Katherine Morgan Schafler was one of those books. I've always had perfectionist tendencies, so when I saw The Perfectionist's Guide, I thought it might be illuminating. So I picked it up from my library.

I was really excited when I started reading this book because right away Schafler splits perfectionists into five different "types" and gives the reader a little quiz to figure out which they are. The types are: Classic, Intense, Parisian, Messy, and Procrastinator. Turns out, I'm pretty much all of them except for intense, but Procrastinator was leading the race. I've procrastinated (especially on certain things) for as long as I can remember. I'm responsible enough to get important things done by a deadline. However, if there is no deadline, and it's something I don't particularly want to do, it's probably not going to happen.

Schafler describes perfectionists as "people who consistently notice the difference between an ideal and a reality, and strive to maintain a high degree of personal accountability." She then goes on to say that there are "adaptive" and "maladaptive" perfectionists. The adaptive perfectionist uses their perfectionism as motivation, but don't require all things to go perfectly or beat themselves up over failure. The maladaptive perfectionists torture themselves trying to make everything perfect, but are ultimately disappointed because perfection is not possible.

Schafler also wrote that the reason procrastinator perfectionists procrastinate is that they wait for conditions to be perfect before starting--and conditions are never perfect. "The problem for these perfectionists is that starting a process taints it--now that it's real, it can no longer be perfect." Thus, every time a procrastinator perfectionist starts something new, it involves a real loss from what was perfect in their mind. Schafler argues that not acting also involves loss, but a much bigger loss. I found this argument interesting and compelling, and I think it will help me. However, to me it doesn't feel like loss, but a related feel of failure.

Once we were done figuring out what kind of perfectionist we were, I struggled a little bit while reading this book. Schafler talks a lot about being compassionate with yourself, but I'd already read a whole book on that. I was more interested in a more concrete understanding of why my brain would torture me in such a way. I almost stopped reading the book, but my perfectionism and FOMO kept me going. 

In the end, I found this a helpful book, although I was a little frustrated and unsure what I was learning in the middle. I really liked seeing where my procrastination was coming from, and realizing that fear of things not turning out perfectly is not a valid excuse for inaction. And I know that I'm happier when I'm busy and actually accomplishing things rather than going over and over all of the things I need to do but am not doing in my head.

#7 [2026/CBR18] Awake by Jen Hatmaker

I think I may have first seen Awake (2025) by Jen Hatmaker on NYT's Best Books of the Year List. I'm a fan of memoirs, and the blurb caught my attention. So, I borrowed the Audiobook from my library and gave it a listen.

Jen Hatmaker woke up in the middle of the night in July 2020. Her husband was in bed next to her, declaring into his phone that he loved another woman. At this point, they had five children and had been married for twenty-six years. They got married when she was only nineteen years old. I cannot begin to imagine how she felt in this moment as well as the ensuing days, weeks, and months.

So, Jen Hatmaker is a bestselling author of fourteen books, a podcaster, and has her own book club. However, I had not heard of her until picking up this book. Hatmaker grew up very religious, and it seems that more of her earlier work was done in the religious field. I am very far from religious and generally do not have much to do with those circles.

Hatmaker jumps around a little in telling her story. She starts with a story about how the religious dress codes of her church made her feel as a young girl growing up--and even as an adult woman. She also recounted such a sad but relatable story from her tweens. Her friends ditched her and ran away from her when the boys didn't like her. And she described how she and her husband got married so young. Spoiler alert: they were very religious and they wanted to have sex.

Hatmaker describes how her husband left their family home immediately after she found out about his affair, and how difficult this was for her. She really leaned on her friends and family, and also used therapy and anti-depressants. I think for the sake of her kids (and probably even her husband), Hatmaker is pretty discreet when talking about her children as well as her relationship with her husband. She mentions that there were problems that she ignored or tried to cover up and they had been in an unhealthy, codependent relationship. She also mentions that after her husband left their home, she was virtually a single parent. I am not sure why he was MIA or how much interaction he has with his kids now. 

Because Hatmaker started out in religious circles, she got quite a bit of flak when she used her own mind to come to conclusions that the religious right doesn't approve of. There were shame-y articles written when her divorce became public. And there was a lot more censure when she stopped going to church and denounced Trump. Hatmaker also discussed how she became aware of Black Lives Matter and was disappointed that her white congregants could so easily turn away from the struggles and injustices she was trying to show them.

This book captured my attention and was easy to listen to. I found Hatmaker to be a good, persuasive writer and an engaging, if very animated, reader. 

#1 [2026/CBR18] Say Everything by Ione Skye

I was probably about twelve years old when I first watched Say Anything with John Cusack and Ione Skye, and it made a deep impression on me. In fact, it shaped my goals for most of my teenage years. I still have a very clear memory of Ione Skye's character, Diane, marking every word that she looked up in her giant dictionary. I thought she was beautiful and smart, and I wanted to be just like her. In fact, because of Diane, I was intent on becoming my high school valedictorian and going to Harvard (neither of which actually happened).

So, when I saw Say Everything (2025), a memoir by Ione Skye, I knew I wanted to read it. Despite my obsession with Diane as a child, I knew virtually nothing about the woman who played her. I had never noticed her in any other movies, and I knew nothing of her career or her personal life.

Ione Skye was born in 1970, making her about nine years older than me. We are close enough in age that I am familiar with many of her contemporaries. In fact, I had a crush on many of her friends and boyfriends as she grew up. Skye has had a fascinating, challenging life, and I admire how openly she discusses aspects of her young-adult life in this book. With that said, Skye does not go into much detail about her life with her current husband and daughters. I imagine it's easier to talk about things farther in the past than current events. I also assume her life has stabilized some since her teens and twenties.

The simplest way for me to finish this review is just touch on some parts of the book that I found especially interesting.

    -Ione Skye's father was famous Scottish folk singer, Donovan Leitch, who left her mother before she was born and had no interest or contact with her for most of her life. This definitely influenced some of Skye's actions later in life. For instance, Skye dated primarily musicians and had some very unhealthy relationships.

    -When Ione Skye was hired for her first movie at fifteen, she was told she had to become emancipated so the studio would not have to comply with child labor laws on the set. This was apparently commonplace for teenagers in Hollywood.

    -Ione Skye made out with Keanu Reeves when she did a movie with him. She was young at the time, and Keanu very nicely rejected her advances for more. (I am so glad he wasn't a creep with her, but I would expect nothing less).

    -Ione Skye was friends with River Phoenix.

    -Ione Skye dated Antony Kiedis from The Red Hot Chili Peppers for years, beginning when she was sixteen and he was twenty four. He was also a heroin addict and cheated on her relentlessly. This relationship was not healthy, to say the least.

    -After Kiedis, Ione Skye married Adam Horowitz from the Beastie Boys. She talks about how she truly loved him, but she was pretty messed up and cheated on him constantly--often with Madonna's ex-lovers.

-This was fascinating because I also listened to Brooke Shields memoir, but Ione Skye was only six years or so younger than Brooke Shields. Skye watched Shields' controversial film, Pretty Baby, and was entranced by Brooke Shields. 

I found this book very interesting. I had no idea how entrenched in Hollywood and famous musicians Ione Skye was--even as a kid. I did find it somewhat difficult to read her story when she was still young and obviously struggling. She was lucky that she didn't end up with AIDS or other STD's after being with Kiedis. And her constant cheating despite her love for her husband was like watching a deliberate car crash. The inside look into what it was like filming Say Anything as well as some of her other projects was also absorbing. Finally, it was interesting to see how directly her father's rejection and indifference affected her, and I was happy to see that she was able to move past that and create what sounds like a good life for herself.

Recommended.

#51 [2025/CBR17] The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

I feel like I've read a string of self-help books lately, and I still have a couple more to go. The Let Them Theory (2024) by Mel Robbins was another recommendation from my therapist. I thought it was easy to follow, interesting to read, and had generally helpful advice. I've definitely been thinking about some of her recommendations and using it in my own life.

Early on in her book, Robbins mentions that she's good at distilling a lot of information into clear, easy-to-understand bites. I think she's successful in doing this for The Let Them Theory. When you look at the whole book, there really is a lot of information, but Robbins narrows it all down to, "Let Them," and "Let Me." The gist is that you can't control other people, and the more you try, the more anxious and miserable you get. So you "let them" do whatever it is they're going to do anyway. But then you "let me" do whatever work that needs to be done to make you happier about the situation.

For example, if your boss is horrible, don't waste your time and attention focusing on how you'd like your boss to be better. Focus on actions that you can take. The best option is often finding a new job, but it is also what will make you happier in the long run. Robbins takes this theory to every part of life, including work, family, friendships, and romantic relationships.

Robbins includes a section on friendship where she explains the difference between friendships as children and friendships as adults. This wasn't new information, but it was presented well. Robbins states that you have to be more flexible with adult relationships because moving, stress, children, spouses, etc., can all affect friendships in the short and long term.

Robbins also has a section on romantic relationships, which fits well with her "Let Them" theory. When someone says they're not interested in you, let them, and move on. This section reminded me of He's Just Not That Into You, because it basically says the same things. I was impressed by how Robbins described how painful breakups can be, but how important it is to move on. I agree with her completely, although I'm not sure if I would have been able to follow this advice when I was younger. I still might have been slow to see and accept the disinterest.

The most difficult section for me was when Robbins discussed dealing with people you care deeply about who are not doing well. This would include alcoholism, depression, weight gain, gambling, unable to support yourself, and/or making generally bad decisions in life. Robbins says you have to "let them" because trying to influence someone usually has the opposite effect, and it will only worsen your relationship with them. People have to decide for themselves if they want change. 

Robbins says that adults have to feel the pain of their bad decisions before they might want to change. If you protect them from their bad decisions, then they will never have the motivation to change. You can support them if they want help, but you should not enable their bad behavior. It's a tricky line, and it sometimes means leaving people out to either get better or die. It's definitely another thing that's easier said than done.

Robbins says the only way you can influence someone is by modeling good behavior, which will hopefully encourage them to follow your good example eventually. The only other thing to do is follow her "ABC's of asking questions." ABC's include:

APOLOGIZE (for being judgmental and trying to butt into their lives), then ASK open-ended questions

BACK OFF, and observe their BEHAVIOR

CELEBRATE progress while you continue to model CHANGE

I found this book pretty easy to read with some useful information. I appreciated that Robbins was very open and honest about her own life and the problems she has struggled with. I think this made it easier to take advice from her.

#50 [2025/CBR17] A Marriage at Sea by Sophie Elmhirst

I've found a number of interesting books when I need a new audio book by just seeing what is "available now" at my library, sorted by popularity. Is that how I found A Marriage at Sea (2025) by Sophie Elmhirst? Honestly, now I can't remember. I may have seen it on a list somewhere. Also, now that I've read it, I'm seeing this book everywhere, including NPR and NYT's 2025 lists. Spoilers follow.

A Marriage at Sea is the true story of a couple, Maralyn and Maurice, who were sailing around the world when their boat was hit and broken by a sperm whale in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. With an unfixable hole under the waterline and very limited time, the two bailed out onto a dinghy and a life raft. They had very limited supplies and no radio. Maralyn and Maurice barely managed to survive an amazing 118 days at sea before being picked up by a South Korean fishing boat. 

This book was a continual surprise for me. First, I had in my head that this shipwreck took place back in the 1800's or something, so I was surprised when I started listening and learned that Maralyn and Maurice were married in the 1960's and their shipwreck occurred in 1973. Second, this book is not just about the ocean journey and their survival. After they are picked up, the book goes into detail about the flurry of fanfare and press surrounding them, as well as their preparations for a second voyage to Patagonia.

But what stands out the most throughout this book is the relationship between Maralyn and Maurice. They defied expectations by choosing to not have kids, quitting their safe, respectable jobs, selling their home, and taking to the sea. In all of this, Maralyn was usually the instigator. It was her idea to sell the house and get a boat. And once they were shipwrecked, it was Maralyn's determination and optimism that kept them going. In many ways, they seemed suited only to each other.

Later in the book, Elmhirst likens the fanfare of a wedding to the fanfare of christening a new boat. The celebrations are all excitement and anticipation of what is to come, although the reality of marriage as well as a sea voyage can be much more difficult. In fact, some would not go through with it if they knew everything that was to come.

The book follows Maralyn and Maurice for the rest of their lives. Maurice ends up by himself, ornery and grumpy, and missing Maralyn deeply. 

I found this book interesting and thought provoking. It wasn't as straightforward as I was expecting. The author had a number of good sources, including diaries and books Maurice and Maralyn had written. However, I still sometimes wished we could know even more about the protagonists. Recommended.

#48 [2025/CBR17] Replaceable You by Mary Roach

Although it's been a number of years since I've read a book by Mary Roach, I have read quite a few. Mary Roach writes non-fiction--digging into whatever topic seems to catch her fancy. Quite often this topic is at least a little bit taboo. She's written a book about sex (Bonk), death (Stiff), and ghosts (Spook). When I was told her latest book was coming out, I immediately put a hold on it at the library. 

Replaceable You: Adventures in Human Anatomy (2025) is Roach's latest book. I thought it was interesting, and I definitely learned some things, but I didn't find it quite as readable as I have some of her other books. I have discovered about myself that whatever subject I'm learning about, I prefer to really dig into it, understand it fully, and explore every corner. Replaceable You (and many of Roach's books) keeps it fast paced, jumping from topic to topic with witticisms and little jokes. It can be fun, but I found myself getting frustrated. 

Roach tackles a number of different subjects in Replaceable You, including: the history of building fake noses, skin grafting, using pig organs for humans, growing organs, repurposing sexual organs, prosthetic legs, the iron lung, ostomy bags, hair transplants, and more. The overarching theme is an acknowledgement of how complex the human body is, and how difficult a time we have when we try to create part of it ourselves. It is amazing what some doctors have accomplished, but I'm a little afraid that we're walking ourselves right into a harrowing science-fiction movie.

My favorite parts of the book were when Roach showed how the research affected people personally. I enjoyed learning about the woman who wanted a prosthetic over her real foot because her original was so damaged. I also found the chapter on ostomy bags pretty interesting. I had never really thought about the stigma and challenge of trying to live your life with an ostomy bag. Finally, the chapter on the woman who had used an iron lung at night for most of her life was both fascinating and unexpectedly heart wrenching. 

There was a fair bit of information about the use of animals in all this research, including growing pig organs for humans and more. I am not against all animal testing. I realize that it has helped countless people's lives, but it still makes me uncomfortable, and I didn't enjoy reading about some of it. I also occasionally had a hard time following some of the more advanced research. Again, I felt like I needed more explanation to really understand what was going on and how much more needed to be done before it became something that was medically useable. 

Fans of Mary Roach will almost certainly enjoy this book as well, although I didn't find it as readable as some of her others.